The Seal of Approval

It started innocently enough one summer in the early 70s. My buddies and I were at a swim club, free from the rigors of school and enjoying a day off from the landscaping company where we all worked a summer job ( it had poured rain during the night and earlier that day). As we sat there girl watching, a young lady strolled by. A debate began, with our group breaking into two factions, discussing the merits of this particular female. Finally one of the guys said, " I don't care what any of you guys think, she gets my seal of approval." My buddy Doug laughed and said, " Yes, the seal of approval" and began to mimic a seal, clapping his hands and barking " arf arf arf." And thus a tradition was born! From that point on, no matter the venue ( and sometimes we really pushed the envelope) when an attractive lady passed by, we awarded her the "seal." There were times as many as ten of us would be sitting someplace, and we'd break out the seal. " Arf arf arf " and clapping our hands. It was always spontaneous, which made it fun for us, albeit no less juvenile. Often the object of our attention would walk over and ask us what we were doing. Most would leave smiling or giggling, though shaking their heads. Many times in the years that followed, I'd hear stories of how guys had awarded the "seal" to some unsuspecting lady. I'd just roll my eyes, we'd gone through our 20s, 30s, 40s, and were now into our 50s and we were still behaving like idiots!

Many of the guys became very successful, Doug had a moving business and was an auctioneer. A week before Thanksgiving in November of 06, my girlfriend Liz and I mutually agreed to split, and I called Doug to schedule a move for her. I gave her the furniture as I had decided to start a new chapter with new furnishings. Doug and I talked and laughed, we were both in good spirits once the conversation ended.

The Thanksgiving holiday passed, Liz moved to her new place and I to mine. I went to my mailbox on my way to the office, Doug had sent a bill to me for Liz's move. I drove to our office where we were having an office meeting. I called Doug's secretary to tell her I'd drop off a check the next day. She said, " good John, because we need the money. Doug is not doing auctions, he is under Hospice care." I hung up, the Hospice remark going over my head. I walked back into our meeting, sat down, looked acrossed at one of the agents...then it hit me!!! " Diane, Hospice is terminal care at home, right?" " Yes John" she replied.

I bolted out of the meeting, dialing Doug's wife. Doug had lost a lung to cancer a year earlier but they thought they had gotten it all. Two weeks earlier, he had some trouble breathing, and they had gone to the hospital. The cancer had returned, he had been given two weeks to live. " John, if you want to see him, you'd better come today."

I charged out of our office and headed to their house. When I arrived, Doug was sitting in a recliner, on oxygen and heavily medicated. His wife had a 60s music channel playing on the T V. He asked me to hold his hands and I did, he was freezing and they were cold as ice. I'd known Doug since age 8, we both sat there, two 51 yr old males discussing our lives, our adventures. Each breath was a struggle for Doug, but through his pain he spoke of our adventures, the times we were " bounced " out of two places, the day 6 of us drove our go carts through the back gate and into the parking lot of the Kart N Go, then finally the times we awarded the " seal of approval." He'd laugh then struggle just to breathe.

He was dying and he knew it. He told me there was no miracle coming, to enjoy my life, remember the fun and the seal of approval. I told him that I loved him, for the first and only time in the 43 years I'd known him. He drifted off to sleep. There was a house full of people, I said my good-byes and left.

Doug died that evening. I told his son that Doug had squeezed 100 years of living into his 51 years of life. I've never met anyone who enjoyed their life and living, just having fun, more than Doug. Sometimes I incorporate the "seal of approval" when I'm flirting online. I always think of Doug when I type it, and I smile...Peace to all...John