Life 2.0...My Thoughts On This Film

Filmmaker Jason Spingarn-Koff spent hundreds of hours in Second Life meeting people via his cameraman avatar Jay Spire. The result is this fascinating documentary released in 2010, a feature selection of the 2010 Sundance Film Festival. This film should be required viewing for anyone who spends time in virtual worlds. It follows the lives of 4 people and powerfully documents how their real lives are transformed by their participation on Second Life. All 4 people eventually experience, in some form, real world unhappiness. I found myself taking notes as I watched the film. I chose Steve and Amy to be the focus of my blog as I've witnessed so many couples such as this one on the internet. 

Steve is a married ( 20 years ) forty-something male from the province of Alberta in Canada, Amy a married ( 11 years) thirty-something female from Westchester, New York. We are introduced to the couple prior to their first real life meeting. They are already " in love," Steve assures us that it is not sexual but calls their affair " emotional adultery." They both admit that their spouses, while aware that they are on Second Life, are clueless as to the depth of their relationship. 

Next we are witness to their first meeting at the airport. They hug, kiss, their actions remind me of lovers who are reuniting after an extended time apart. In voice over, Steve says that he is glad that Amy is who she portrayed herself to be ( translation...Amy is a hottie!). They walk to Amy's van, Steve is pressing against her and repeatedly they kiss. " First stop, Motel Six" I thought to myself as I jotted down notes. 

The following scene, dealing with this couple, opens with the shot of a quaint little motel as I break into a knowing smile. The camera takes us inside where Steve and Amy are seated on the bed together, although fully dressed for the camera, they've obviously consummated the relationship. Their relationship now "complete," they're smiling like a couple of teens, all giddy with joy. 

Steve returns to Canada, we see their avis in a virtual scene together and hear their REAL voices as they talk to one another. Suddenly we hear sounds from Amy's den and see her avatar click out of the room. When her avi returns to the room, she says that her husband Jimmy walked in and surprised her. 

By their second meeting at Amy's house in New York, they have each separated from their spouses and are divorcing. We are introduced to Amy's young daughter ( by the way, Steve refers to her several times as Amy's daughter, never once calling her by name). One can cut this child's sadness with a knife, the collateral damage of the affair brought painfully before our eyes. The couple is all in and Steve will be moving from Canada to live with Amy in New York. 

The couple are now living together in New York. Jimmy has yet to remove all of his belongings from the home. Steve suggests throwing Jimmy's stuff out with the trash, Amy argues that it should be kept until Jimmy can retrieve it. Later we see the couple working together in the garden. There is tension between them, a task as simple as gardening leads to an argument. Soon Steve returns to Canada as he could not find work in New York ( he says due to his alien status ) Amy remains in her home. We see the couple lying in their beds, talking to each other on Skype. Amy is still extremely smitten, Steve shows signs of being over it. He tells her that he is too tired to talk but wants to go to sleep with the sound of her breathing in his ear. 

In the next scene, Steve is talking via cam to Jason Spingarn-Koff. He assures him that Amy and he are committed to working it out but there are issues that must be worked through. We're then switched to a devastated Amy, sitting in her house in New York, tearfully bemoaning the death of the relationship. She proclaims that she was " real" and Steve was "fake." She says that Steve is "free" and has moved to India and her voice trails off. Amy has been left alone to pick up the pieces. 

The filmmaker was granted tremendous access to this couple. It is ironic that when I was doing research for this blog, one of the reasons I found that Amy gives beforehand for her participation in this film is that if it goes badly, it could serve as a cautionary tale for other couples. 

Sunshine, blue skies, and everyone gets a puppy. All of the good and none of the bad. Over the years,these are the two sentences that I've most used when discussing the reality of virtual romance. The people at the keyboard are real, the feelings are real, but the couples are not facing real life issues together. No bills to pay, no children to raise together, no bad breath in the morning. Online love is the perpetual summer romance. 

In her final scene, through tears Amy says " I'm not stupid" and she isn't. But hopefully by now she realizes that she fell in love with the virtual Steve and not the real Steve. The perfect Steve, largely a creation of her mind. Like many before her, Amy projected the qualities and traits that she desired upon Steve. Though there are success stories, there are many more failures when it comes to long distance relationships. In my humble opinion,staying local is a much better option. But if one is to pursue a LTR, one may want to wrap some Teflon around one's heart. Peace to all...John : )