The New Doctor

This morning I had my first appointment with my new doctor. My prior doctor had moved to Virginia to be closer to his aging parents. I liked him, he had worked with me on labs and bloodwork. When I had retired from UPS, I joined the ranks of the uninsured. He'd had work done at discounted prices. But that is a blog for another day.

I arrived sharply at 8 a m just as the office was opening. My appointment was at 8:10. I reported to the receptionist, signed in, prepaid for my visit, then took a seat in the waiting room. Soon a nurse called out my name. My B P was taken, weight measured, and my pulse and heart rate documented. She said, " your pulse was 82 on your last visit, it is 70 today, that is great. Were you stressed on your last check up?" I smiled and said, " yes, I think I was" as I remembered the shapely nurse that had taken my vitals on my previous visit. "The doctor will be in shortly," she said as she left.

Two minutes later, my new doctor entered the room. " I'm doctor D," and he held out his hand, " hiya doc, I'm John." He looked in my ears and listened to my heart. "Great, he's following the normal pattern," I thought to myself. " He'll tell me to lose weight, refill my prescriptions, and then I'm outta here!" " Stand up for me and drop your pants." Ok he caught me by surprize, but I complied. I'd known this man ten minutes and I was lowering my pants. It reminded me of some internet dates I'd had ...er...had heard about. "Gee doc, you didn't even buy me breakfast" I said. He laughed and told me to cough. I did, he made a few notes as I pulled my pants up.

"Wait, we're not done. Turn around and bend over as far as you can" he said as he put on a new set of gloves. Gawd I hated rectal exams, I hadn't had one since my days at UPS. When he finished, I said, " you know I hope you send me flowers this afternoon." He laughed and we discussed my health. I suggested semi annual visits instead of quarterly and he told me that he had no problem with reducing my visits.

I don't know how women do it, some medical examinations are so invasive. Which reminds me, did he have two hands on my shoulders?? Peace to all...John