1) Feigning interest....your mind is really thinking about the Laker/Cavs game but you're out with a woman who is rattling on about every negative trait of her 5 ex husbands. By acting as if you care, you'll get through dinner and quite possibly to Camelot...Practice this look in the mirror, and later you may be using your lance a lot...
2) She's showing cleavage and you're a chest man......the twins are in full display, they act much like huge magnets and your eyes are cheap metal. Make sure you do NOT get caught oogling the goods. Before you sit down, know her eye color in case she asks you for it....lacking that, at least know the number of eyes she has...
3) Compliment her on her hair.....women really seem to like that...Sure her look may be stuck in the 90s ( and in some cases I mean 1890s ) but you're sure to score points with this approach
4) Now I heard Andy tell Opie to " tell her she smells good." Be careful at this point. I did this once, the lady laughed and said the water had been turned off in her neighborhood due to a busted main line, she had taken a " whore bath" meaning a damp rag wiping herself off...What I was smelling was the stain she used on her deck 2 hours earlier.....
5) Don't relate your past dating history....this is a HUGE no no. For example, you tell a female that you've had 20 dinner dates in the last year, she concludes you slept with 30 women!!!! It's fuzzy female math that I've yet to figure out, I guess they assume half of your dates brought along a friend. If asked, you've my permission to lie. Even though you have dated 20, it is best to say 2. At this point it is better to be seen as a loser than a guy that is in demand < big wink >.
I hope you guys derive some benefit from my wise counsel, I also hope you realize it is mostly tongue in cheek. Good luck to all, may you all discover happiness ( or very strong wrists ). Peace to all...John
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