Any Male

that won't accept you at your very best is not worth having as a friend or a part of your life." I told my oldest daughter this when she was in the 8th grade. I'll tell you what brought about this piece of advice I delivered to her about 14 years ago. Being that I was a UPSman, delivery was my strength : ).

Her mother and I had divorced the previous year. I was the non-custodial ( gee I hated that word ) parent. I came home one evening and the light on my answering machine was blinking. I had a message waiting for me from my ex. Sarah had brought home her interim report card and was getting C s and D s!! This was a young lady that had never gotten anything but A s. My ex asked me if I would talk to Sarah about it, and I agreed to have a conversation with her.

I sat down with Sarah the next evening. I told her that it was typical for children of divorce to slip academicly but I wanted her to know that her mother and I both loved her. I asked her if anything was troubling her and was caught off guard by her reply. She told me that she liked this boy at school, but he told her that she was too smart for him, and he didn't like smart girls. She thought that if she let her grades slide that he might like her. I then told her that any male that did not encourage her or accept her at her very best was not a guy worth having as a friend.

In the weeks that followed, Sarah's grades returned to normal. Years later she was working as a reporter at a small newspaper and I called her and asked her to lunch. As we sat there, we spoke of " life lessons" and how we never stop learning. She told me that night over ten years earlier was an epiphany and she had gone forward surrounding herself as best she could with people who were positive influences.

My ex and I rarely agreed upon anything but the one area where we found common ground was stressing the importance of education to our two daughters. Education empowers one, it provides more choices, it is the key that opens more doors.

Over the past 14 years, I've often found myself sitting acrossed the dinner table from women who had felt trapped in a marraige or a relationship. They'd relate how they'd allowed themselves to be totally dependent upon a male, how they had no education or job skills. Some had lived many years in quiet desperation, feeling helpless and hopeless. As I'd listen, my mind would drift to my young daughters and how I hoped they'd never experience the life these ladies had lived.

Sarah is married to a supportive man, when the time comes I hope Mollie picks wisely as well. We've often talked about the importance of surrounding ourselves with positive influences.The reality is that over 50% of marraiges fail. Their degrees should provide them with a safety net.::crosses fingers:: Peace to all...John