The Coat Tree

In 1997 I'd been divorced about 2 years and had decided that it was time to buy a house. I settled on a small house in a little village that was located in the school district my daughters attended at the time. After moving into the house, I noticed it had no living room closet ( ok I'm a guy ). So I bought a coat tree, it suited my purposes, it wasn't like I'd be hosting foreign dignitaries.

One Friday night I was heading out my front door to play poker with a group of guys, we played the second Friday of every month. I was the only non-smoker in the group, so when it came my time to host, I'd give one of the other guys some money for refreshments and pass on my turn. As I was heading out the front door, for some odd reason, I moved the coat tree, which held my long, winter coat and a baseball cap, from one side of the door to the other. I then left for the evening of cards and solving world problems.

Now usually, the game started at 8 p m an d would end at 1 a m, but on this night we played on until 4 a m. When we quit, I'd found I had won about $5. What a disappointment! Eight hours of cards for $5? But hey,I told myself that I always enjoyed the fellowship of the other players, trying hard to rationalize sitting in a smoke filled room and dealing with a headache. I also smelled like I myself had smoked 5 packs of cigarettes. After a round of good-byes and thanking the host,I got in my car and headed home.

I pulled up in front of my house, I'd forgotten to turn on the porch light and had neglected to leave a light on inside. Dang!! Sleepy, tired, a throbbing headache, I struggled to open the door. Finally I got the key to turn the lock and I entered my home. It was dark, but out of the corner of my eye I picked up a presence! Someone had broken into my house, I could see a coat and a hat!! I acted quickly, I swung mightily at the interloper! As my fist continued past where a head should have been, I suddenly realized I was going mano y mano with my COAT TREE!!!!! The force I put behind my blow carried me along with it, I fell forward into the coat tree, taking it to the ground and breaking it in two!!! In the dark, I lie down on the floor beside my broken adversary, laughing like an idiot, trying to catch my breath.

I did not replace my coat tree, why invite trouble into one's home? Peace to all...John