Top Ten Lines From My Internet Dates

Yes...I once used the internet exclusively and often to date..for many reasons...it was a target rich environment..rejection was much easier to take and could be handled in an adult manner ( when they declined I simply flipped off my computer screen where their instant message was displayed)...mostly dinner and conversation..though if you tell a woman you had dinner dates with 70 women from the net, they assume that....you've a platinum Visa card. What follows are pretty much lines said to me on first dates...and my responses..some I verbalized...others I just thought it and smiled..enjoy

10) said at Bravos restaurant in Dayton Ohio.."I don't eat like this often" ( Do you mean with utensils?)

9) said in a Frickers ( it's a chain of sportsbars, like B W 3s) in 1995, when everything on the menu was $3.95.." I don't sleep with a man unless he spends $40 on dinner"..( does that include the tip, Deb?)

8) said in the lobby of a Holiday Inn..." hi John, I'm Tina...would you like to get a room?" ( why am I on the clock)

7)said in a Fridays restaurant by the first woman I met from the net from my hometown, a 37 yr old.." this will probably make you run, but I've been married 7 times" ( for better or worse but not for long, eh Lisa)

6) and the line that followed .." but it's not as bad as it sounds, I married two of them twice" ( Hell, I only wanna know how many are still alive!!)

5) said in a Holiday Inn outside of Toledo Ohio when I declined the opportunity to ummm....indulge.." aww you're a sweet guy the first one not to get a room" ( I swear I'm not making it up )

4) said in a Max and Ermas in Dayton Ohio when I asked a lady if she was nervous as she kept looking around.." well John, I'm not married, if you are concerned that I lied about that...it's just that I've a stalker from work...but I have a T R O.." ( check please )

3) said in a Chilis in Beavercreek, Ohio in 1995 when a 32 yr old lady ( who had just told me she had been divorced 4 times ) insisted I tell her about my recent divorce.." John...don't take it hard....it's never about us" ( ah contraire...32 and 4 divorces...it IS about YOU!!!)


2) said over dinner at Tumbleweeds.." I'd like to discuss some positions I don't like" ( me too, such as shortstop, I'm older, heavier, and don't cover the ground I once did )

1) said in a Bob Evans by a lady I met for a casual breakfast " I guess the picture I sent you was a little dated" ( hey...it's my fault...I should have recognized Churchhill standing beside you )