Mail Order Bride

alternative option for those seeking romance......

Seems you're all searchin' for love,

well I'm no different than you

though I'm not cool with using

most online venues

I've tried most everything

I need to try something new

wanna tell you about this email

so indulge me for a few

It said " mail order bride"

and we've got quite a selection"

Well why not give it a try?

I thought upon reflection.

it had a questionaire inside

seeking my interests and dreams

it was quite comprehensive

or so it surely seemed

So I filled out the form

with the best of intentions

and answered every question

without any exemptions

included my Visa card number

so they'd act right away

then I got a fast reply

said she'd arrive in 3 days!

exactly three days later,

was a knock at my door

and I'm telling you, friend

was more than I bargained for

standing there before me

right in front of my eyes

was my mail order bride

he said," hi my name is Clyde"

I said,"wait just a minute

oh for goodness sake

you're not what I ordered

this is a big mistake"

Clyde said," I've your order here

your protest I can refute

I'll read the list outloud

we'll settle this dispute

He read, " you like sports and music

interests we share, it's true

you like to spoon after love-making

well you know I do too

you prefer blondes with big chests

come on, look directly at me

tell me honestly, John

isn't that what you see?"

God you know he was right

What else could I say?

his physical attributes

were clearly on display

we did have things in common

there was no doubting that

and as I took a second look

I thought " Clyde is really phat!"

So I decided to keep him

give this all a trial run

and perhaps, who knows?

Clyde and I might have some fun

Seems the least I can do

entirely within reason,

Clyde can provide companionship

through the football bowl season...