tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28611773780811361632024-03-05T17:40:21.560-08:00Parcels ParadiseCommentary and observations relating to internet interaction... with a dose of humorAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-61554875722498971522015-10-13T16:41:00.001-07:002015-10-13T16:41:32.573-07:00The AARP AGEI was on the phone with a friend of mine who recently turned 50...She was telling me about all of the AARP related mail that she was receiving and I was rolling laughing....She inspired what follows..<br />
<br />
As we get older<br />
closer to playing harp<br />
we're contacted at 50<br />
by entity called AARP<br />
<br />
the discounts they offer<br />
can be good as gold<br />
the downside to this<br />
is that you're getting old!<br />
<br />
some women take issue<br />
in fact they will scoff<br />
at admitting they're 50<br />
to get 20 cents off!<br />
<br />
and to question hearing<br />
is going too far<br />
if healthy no need for<br />
a hearing seminar<br />
<br />
so ladies ignore the<br />
notices you receive<br />
bask in advanced youth<br />
you look great, I believe<br />
<br />
there's no need to complain<br />
and there's no need to carp<br />
toss notices in the trash<br />
you are too young for AARP...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-44903326165121083812015-10-13T16:17:00.002-07:002015-10-13T16:17:41.039-07:00Angel From Indiana<div>
<span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">tried
the distancing thing</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">a
time or two</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">cause
it pains me so</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">the
strain I cause you</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">but
it's always the same</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">found
out no matter who</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">the
simple truth is</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">that
she'll never be you</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">the
day that I met you</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">sitting
here at my perch</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">I
realized that an angel</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">had
fallen to Earth</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">your
outer beauty</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">matches
beauty within</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">just
thinking of you</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">causes
my head to spin</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">you
say that I'm biased</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">well
that might be true</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">cause
in my book no one</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">holds
a candle to you</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">my
feelings I write</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">my
words I have spoken</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">just
feel after you</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">that
the mold was broken</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">In
the next life you stated</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">you
would look everywhere</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">in
attempt to find me</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">you
know I'll fire flares</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">when
I read that text</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">what
a sight for my eyes</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">such
a romantic notion</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">my
heart fluttered inside</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">so
do what you must</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">cause
it might ease your pain</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">just
know on my end</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">baby,
nothing will change</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">I'll
adore you till times end</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">over
you I'm bananas</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">there's
no other like you</span><br style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;" /><span style="background-color: #fff3db; color: #29303b; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-stretch: normal;">Angel
from Indiana.....</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-68292290744729326162015-09-27T00:17:00.001-07:002015-09-30T15:49:49.613-07:00<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-34227503263021925992015-09-23T13:50:00.000-07:002015-09-23T13:50:08.480-07:00Send In the Clown...With Ice Cream" Yes I'm a clown but I don't wanna be, why can't you see the other side of me?" Lyrics from Everybody Loves A Clown by Gary Lewis and the Playboys.<br />
<br />
" We women love men with a sense of humor" she told me. Pffffttttt...I've heard it a million times and I always think the same thing. " I've never seen Bozo the Clown on the cover of People Magazine walking the red carpet with his hot date!" In fact Bozo spends his days hanging out with 4-10 year old children. Hmmmm...How did he fly under To Catch A Predator's radar?<br />
<br />
Oh I've no doubt that women enjoy humor, it's just that on the "Female List of Male Priorities" it can be found around number 14, under things like "cleans his fingernails, has no substance abuse problems, and has a steady income. Women can find wit on their Iphones. Technology has dealt a romantic death knell to we humorously, amorous men.<br />
<br />
Depressing? Heck yes it is! But I deal with it like a 20 year old college female does after a break up with her boyfriend. I indulge in ice cream. It is the epitome of comfort food, a perpetually satisfying treat. I find myself lusting at the choices with each visit to the Walmart freezer.<br />
<br />
Ice cream has so many advantages over women. Such as if you're terrible saying sweet words it does not matter, ice cream melts no matter what you say. And it never says " don't get any in my hair" when you're pouring chocolate syrup on it. It never takes issue with the lipstick on your collar from Sheila in accounting. The stress is missing from a relationship with ice cream. Ice cream always pleases.<br />
<br />
Well my pizza is here, until the next blog...Peace to all...John : )Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-55020342884475333252015-08-30T06:17:00.000-07:002015-08-30T06:17:38.093-07:00Misheard Song LyricsI'm 7 years old in the backseat of the car, I sang as my mother drove. " Gonna get a jack-o-lantern, gonna get married." My mother said " John that is not what they are saying." At age 7 I was unaware that a carved pumpkin had nothing to do with a wedding ceremony. I don't know from whence the jack-o-lantern line stemmed ( I throw the puns in for the 3 or 4 folks who write to say that they enjoy my PUNS!). We can all agree that I butchered The Dixie Cups "Chapel of Love."<br />
<br />
Years later I was discussing misheard song lyrics with a shop owner on my UPS route. He told me that he fell over laughing one day when he heard his wife singing " pay me, for what you're gonna do." Yes, she'd taken Pure Prairie League's Amie, a beautiful love song and transformed it into love for hire!<br />
<br />
Probably the most misheard lyric in the history of rock is a line found within " Lookin' Out My Backdoor." I can home from UPS one night back in the 80s, before the glut of P Cs, to find my then wife holding the phone in her hand. A radio station was having a contest, a case of Pepsi was at stake! They wanted the line that followed " look at all the happy creatures dancing on the lawn." I sang off key " a dinosaur Victrola listening to Buck Owens." And we won!<br />
<br />
Ahhh the memories...perhaps you can think of some misheard songs of your own?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-38364754531887593712015-08-30T05:40:00.000-07:002015-08-30T05:40:07.035-07:00Prisoner of LoveLate in the night<br />
I am in bed<br />
the thoughts of you<br />
fill up my head<br />
surrounded by darkness<br />
ceiling fan turns<br />
you're on my mind<br />
for you I yearn<br />
feeling at times<br />
becomes so intense<br />
bound by desire<br />
behind love's fence<br />
realize the limits<br />
yet I persist<br />
knowing it's you<br />
I cannot resist<br />
I'll never have you<br />
thus my heart bleeds<br />
you are my dream girl<br />
the dream's all I need<br />
you inspire feelings<br />
that no one else does<br />
I shall gladly remain<br />
your prisoner of love......Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-74910115988128164852014-03-09T13:16:00.001-07:002014-03-09T13:20:03.407-07:00Life 2.0...My Thoughts On This Film<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">Filmmaker Jason Spingarn-Koff spent hundreds of hours in Second Life meeting people via his cameraman avatar Jay Spire. The result is this fascinating documentary released in 2010, a feature selection of the 2010 Sundance Film Festival. This film should be required viewing for anyone who spends time in virtual worlds. It follows the lives of 4 people and powerfully documents how their real lives are transformed by their participation on Second Life. All 4 people eventually experience, in some form, real world unhappiness. I found myself taking notes as I watched the film. I chose Steve and Amy to be the focus of my blog as I've witnessed so many couples such as this one on the internet. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">Steve is a married ( 20 years ) forty-something male from the province of Alberta in Canada, Amy a married ( 11 years) thirty-something female from Westchester, New York. We are introduced to the couple prior to their first real life meeting. They are already " in love," Steve assures us that it is not sexual but calls their affair " emotional adultery." They both admit that their spouses, while aware that they are on Second Life, are clueless as to the depth of their relationship. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">Next we are witness to their first meeting at the airport. They hug, kiss, their actions remind me of lovers who are reuniting after an extended time apart. In voice over, Steve says that he is glad that Amy is who she portrayed herself to be ( translation...Amy is a hottie!). They walk to Amy's van, Steve is pressing against her and repeatedly they kiss. " First stop, Motel Six" I thought to myself as I jotted down notes. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">The following scene, dealing with this couple, opens with the shot of a quaint little motel as I break into a knowing smile. The camera takes us inside where Steve and Amy are seated on the bed together, although fully dressed for the camera, they've obviously consummated the relationship. Their relationship now "complete," they're smiling like a couple of teens, all giddy with joy. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">Steve returns to Canada, we see their avis in a virtual scene together and hear their REAL voices as they talk to one another. Suddenly we hear sounds from Amy's den and see her avatar click out of the room. When her avi returns to the room, she says that her husband Jimmy walked in and surprised her. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">By their second meeting at Amy's house in New York, they have each separated from their spouses and are divorcing. We are introduced to Amy's young daughter ( by the way, Steve refers to her several times as Amy's daughter, never once calling her by name). One can cut this child's sadness with a knife, the collateral damage of the affair brought painfully before our eyes. The couple is all in and Steve will be moving from Canada to live with Amy in New York. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">The couple are now living together in New York. Jimmy has yet to remove all of his belongings from the home. Steve suggests throwing Jimmy's stuff out with the trash, Amy argues that it should be kept until Jimmy can retrieve it. Later we see the couple working together in the garden. There is tension between them, a task as simple as gardening leads to an argument. Soon Steve returns to Canada as he could not find work in New York ( he says due to his alien status ) Amy remains in her home. We see the couple lying in their beds, talking to each other on Skype. Amy is still extremely smitten, Steve shows signs of being over it. He tells her that he is too tired to talk but wants to go to sleep with the sound of her breathing in his ear. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">In the next scene, Steve is talking via cam to Jason Spingarn-Koff. He assures him that Amy and he are committed to working it out but there are issues that must be worked through. We're then switched to a devastated Amy, sitting in her house in New York, tearfully bemoaning the death of the relationship. She proclaims that she was " real" and Steve was "fake." She says that Steve is "free" and has moved to India and her voice trails off. Amy has been left alone to pick up the pieces. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">The filmmaker was granted tremendous access to this couple. It is ironic that when I was doing research for this blog, one of the reasons I found that Amy gives beforehand for her participation in this film is that if it goes badly, it could serve as a cautionary tale for other couples. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">Sunshine, blue skies, and everyone gets a puppy. All of the good and none of the bad. Over the years,these are the two sentences that I've most used when discussing the reality of virtual romance. The people at the keyboard are real, the feelings are real, but the couples are not facing real life issues together. No bills to pay, no children to raise together, no bad breath in the morning. Online love is the perpetual summer romance. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">In her final scene, through tears Amy says " I'm not stupid" and she isn't. But hopefully by now she realizes that she fell in love with the virtual Steve and not the real Steve. The perfect Steve, largely a creation of her mind. Like many before her, Amy projected the qualities and traits that she desired upon Steve. Though there are success stories, there are many more failures when it comes to long distance relationships. In my humble opinion,staying local is a much better option. But if one is to pursue a LTR, one may want to wrap some Teflon around one's heart. Peace to all...John : )</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-59816847943688936912014-03-09T13:05:00.001-07:002014-03-09T13:05:42.826-07:00Chasing Windmills<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">Quixotic- foolishly impractical especially in the pursuit of ideals : marked by rash lofty romantic ideas........ </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 0.4em;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 0.4em;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">Quixotic is a term derived from the name of the title character in Miguel de'Cervantes' book Don Quixote de la Mancha. The term had rested dormant in my mind until recently when I stumbled upon it while viewing a friend's profile on a website. I don't think that there is a better term that more aptly applies to victims of romantic scams and cyber love. I think I can safely say that many of us know of people or have been ourselves a member of one or both groups. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 0.4em;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 0.4em;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">Group One: </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 0.4em;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 0.4em;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">You're 40-70 years old, you've no job, you're living with a relative, and " Big Yank" is stitched across your preferred brand of apparel. An onliner with supermodel looks approaches you stating that he/she is looking for true love and your profile has caught his/her attention. And why not, you're a helluva catch, eh? You're beating them away from the front door with a stick, correct? Your phone is ringing so much that you can no longer return all the calls, right? Of course the answer to all 3 questions is a resounding NO!! Yet you believe it and because your future groom/bride needs money for some financial emergency, you send him/her your debit card number!! CHA-CHING!!! Sadly, many people fall prey to this kind of scam. I know they do because of the number of times I'm approached by scammers online. There is only ONE reason that they do it.....IT WORKS!!! </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 0.4em;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 0.4em;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">Group Two: </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 0.4em;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 0.4em;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">You're in a long term relationship. The demands of raising 4 kids, the pressure of working a job, and living within a household budget are combining to take a toll upon you. When you look across the room at your partner, the " god I love you" that you once heard in your head has been replaced by " what the hell was I thinking?" Your life mate has become a life sentence, your soul mate a cell mate. So here you are at an internet website, where you find " the one." The ying to your yang, the peas to your carrots. Does it really matter that this person has been divorced 4 times, has a substance abuse problem, and the two longest, successful relationships said individual has had were with a bail bondsman and a parole officer? </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 0.4em;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 0.4em;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">Yet we delude ourselves online, we often see a poor option at best or the fatally flawed choice at worst as perfect. Especially when we are new to the internet experience, before we gain online savvy. A popular online dating site proclaims that 1 in 5 relationships now begin at an internet dating site. I believe that and I also think that these numbers will increase as we move into the future. The key element is that the overwhelming majority who join internet dating sites our matched with LOCAL people! Staying within one's area allows one to date and get to know another. In my opinion, staying local gives one a chance to be more successful. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 0.4em;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 0.4em;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">We've all heard a story of a successful, long distance internet relationship. Some of us may have knowledge of several happy couples who were able to overcome the distance obstacle. While these stories give hope to every romantic who is involved in such a relationship and every person who has worn out 4 DVDs of Sleepless In Seattle, the reality is that 100s more fail. The summer romance element of these affairs often prevents couples from having the ability to come to grips with the 800 pound gorilla in the room. Very few if any aspects of the romance are based in reality. In fact, many fail to consider the "big obvious." Eventually one or both parties must move. That's why it is almost always best to pursue local, real time options. Otherwise, I believe many of us are just chasing windmills...Peace to all...John : ) </span>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-28272730781034335652014-03-08T20:15:00.001-08:002014-03-08T20:15:25.955-08:00Giving It Away"Give it away, give it away, give it away." I could hear The Red Hot Chili Peppers song "Give It Away" playing in my head as my brother, Steven, was chastising me over the phone. Steve has been writing Sherlock Holmes books, zombie themed stories, and his own Frank Randall mystery series, and selling his work on Amazon.com since March of 2013. He quit his job and is now a full time writer. He pointed out that by blogging on free sites, I was not placing any value on my work. I was also fully aware that many people started their days with a cup of coffee and my blog, which at times can be sugary and at other times very strong. I have been posting on this site infrequently although I've built quite the following on a couple of free sites. I've been considering " going pro" for quite some time, especially since a few folks that I introduced to blogging have made a nice supplimental income by writing. So in the words of the great Jackie Gleason..." and away we go!"<br />
<br />
Today, 03/08/14, I officially go pro. It'll mean more work behind the scenes but my writing will remain the same. I'll strive to be informative, failing that, be funny! Please click on the Google ads as that is how we bloggers are paid. Please consider my house as your house and visit often, even when my blog may be untidy : ) Peace to all...John : )Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-19764930990529350022013-03-08T13:11:00.001-08:002013-03-08T13:11:08.842-08:00The Visible SuspectThe second book in the Frank Randall Mystery series authored by my brother, Steven, dropped onto Amazon.com today. The book can be found here http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BQLSHH0/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_KdIorb0RP2S0T....and you can give your feedback directly to the author here https://www.facebook.com/steven.ehrman.5...thank you.....Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-42118137782653471142012-11-10T14:49:00.002-08:002012-11-10T14:49:29.204-08:00The Facebook Generation- Dirty Laundry"Dirty little secrets <br />Dirty little lies <br />We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie <br />We love to cut you down to size <br />We love dirty laundry"....Lyrics from Dirty Laundry performed by Don Henley.. <br />
<br />
I'm really glad Facebook was not around when I was in high school. My mom would have never posted a negative status about me for the whole world to see. But suppose we had had Facebook back then and she had posted " my son John is a lazy pothead and even though he scored 3rd out of 365 students on his 10th grade standardized tests, he isn't currently ranked in the top 40% of his class,"I would have been devastated! Yet I see it daily on Facebook. Folks airing their dirty laundry for the world to see.<br />
<br />
There are no Mr Peabodys, no Shermans, and no Wayback Machines online. Once we post something, it's out there. Like a shot gun blast, the words not only hurt the person for which they are targeted, but other family members who love both the writer and the subject as well. <br />
<br />
So here is my suggestion. Keep it "in house." If you've a beef with a family member or friend, speak directly to that individual. This is not the venue for airing dirty laundry. Peace to all...John : )Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-47342827845142033802010-09-27T10:24:00.000-07:002010-09-27T10:24:40.093-07:00People Who CareThey make such a difference in our lives...peace to all...John :-)<br />
<br />
I was a little down <br />
I was feeling despair<br />
I was wearing a frown<br />
seemed like nobody cared<br />
<br />
my daughters weren't calling<br />
my friends did not write<br />
seems that all had forgot me<br />
there was no hope in sight<br />
<br />
I was lost and alone<br />
I felt so out a place<br />
when a trip to my mailbox<br />
put a smile on my face!<br />
<br />
was a letter awaiting<br />
from Columbia Gas<br />
just a friendly reminder<br />
my bill's due date had passed!<br />
<br />
and a letter from Cap One<br />
sent from a place afar<br />
I'm 3 payments behind<br />
they'll be taking my car<br />
<br />
Universal Water<br />
the source of my showers<br />
demanded a payment<br />
within twenty four hours<br />
<br />
Now I'm feeling much better<br />
I was so wrong, you see<br />
there are lotsa fine people<br />
who care much about me!<br />
<br />
yes what they say is true<br />
feeling lonely and ill?<br />
think that nobody cares?<br />
try not paying your bills!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-76716465889213945622010-09-27T09:46:00.000-07:002010-09-27T09:48:02.393-07:00Death Becomes Him"Some love is just a lie of the heart<br />
The cold remains of what began with a passionate start<br />
And they may not want it to end<br />
But it will, it's just a question of when"...Lyrics from "A Matter of Trust" by Billy Joel...<br />
<br />
I'd heard stories similar to her's on at least 2 other occasions. They had met on a website. They chatted daily by text, exchanged emails, and had eventually spoken by phone. Over a period of time, the bond grew stronger. The "L" word was spoken and they'd agreed to meet. Then it happened...his "brother" contacted her while on her cyberlover's account. Her friend was deathly ill and was not going to make it. The brother wished her well and abruptly logged off.<br />
<br />
She was hurt but suspicious. She had run a successful business for 15 years, she was nobody's fool. She had his phone number, his real name, and the city where he resided. His obituary never appeared, so she wrote to him, confronting him via email. He admitted that he was alive and well, although he never gave reason for his behavior.<br />
<br />
We come to the internet thinking that because we are truthful, others are as well. Sadly truth is often the first casualty in online relationships. It is so easy to twist the truth while hiding behind a computer. Some lies are innocent, others are done with malicious intent. The number one negative regarding virtual relationships is that in most cases, we have nobody to vouch for our friend. In cyberspace, trust is earned, not given. Peace to all....John :-)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-87577431035783056852010-09-21T14:54:00.000-07:002010-09-21T15:06:07.330-07:00Peanut Butter Sandwich" there's a food goin' around that's a sticky, sticky goo..peanut, peanut butter....well it tastes real good but it's so hard to chew." Lyrics from Peanut Butter by The Marathons...1961<br />
<br />
I blog a lot and I'll freely admit that I do a poor job of marketing my blog. I've researched successful blogs, most operate with a theme such as " new moms " or " recipes." I'm not new and lack the proper equipment to be a mom, so I've decided to go the recipe route. What follows is my first attempt, targeting other single males who may lack culinary skills and have a distaste for cleaning pots, pans, and baking dishes. Today you'll need the following:<br />
<br />
2 slices of bread<br />
<br />
a jar of peanut butter<br />
<br />
a knife<br />
<br />
paper plate<br />
_________________________________________________________________________<br />
<br />
place 2 slices of bread on paper plate<br />
<br />
open jar of peanut butter by twisting lid counter clockwise ( for those of you South of the Mason-Dixon line, twist lid to the left )<br />
<br />
apply peanut butter generously to one slice of bread ( I've found a good rule of thumb to be if right-handed, apply to the slice on the right, if left-handed, saturate the left slice...and if you're ambidextrous, use both slices, you lucky son-of-a-gun).<br />
<br />
place one slice directly on top of the other<br />
<br />
Time of preparation....2 minutes<br />
<br />
once one has mastered this, one can add jelly ( one needs a jar of jelly AND another knife, especially when entertaining )for a change of pace, thus doubling the number of dining choices...the best thing about it is that everything is disposable, much like online friends ; P Peace to all.....John :-)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-91119799363591154622010-09-20T11:09:00.000-07:002010-09-20T11:09:32.105-07:006 Year Old Girls, Tight Skirts, and Booty Shaking“Our backs ache, our skirts are too tight, we shake our booties from left to right…”<br />
<br />
I coached 3 different girls' sports as my daughters were growing up, perhaps the most gratifying feedback that I ever received came from the mother of a young lady. " John, the girls had fun playing for you and more importantly, you never damaged anyone's self esteem." This brings me to today's commentary....<br />
<br />
Did you see the story of the 6 year old girl who was kicked off a cheerleading squad in Madison Heights, Michigan? Her mother raised concerns over a cheer that the squad was doing which included the line at the top of the blog. Now I'm a live and let live kind of guy, a social liberal who often finds himself in agreement with Michael Moore ( we bespectacled, fat guys have got to stick together). But any coach or adult that supports young girls performing this cheer ( and the majority of the organization did )is, in my humble opinion, a FREAKING MORON!<br />
<br />
At age 40 I found myself suddenly single and thrust into the dating game. Many is the night that I sat acrossed the dinner table from a lady who bemoaned the fact that most men wanted her for " one thing." I can't help but feel that some of the 30ish mothers who saw nothing wrong with the sexually suggestive cheer will be single in the future, verbalizing the very same thing about men.<br />
<br />
There are so many cheers kids could do that would be more age appropriate. There is already far too much objectification of women in our society. It certainly does not need to start at age 6. Peace to all...John :-)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-22992095538584422762010-04-22T08:55:00.000-07:002010-04-22T08:55:41.485-07:00Missing Xenia Ohio Mom FoundDirector David Lynch begins the movie Blue Velvet with the image of a man mowing a beautifully manicured lawn. The camera pans downward past the grass, through the roots until we reach hordes of assorted insects crawling around underground. The visual reminds us that no matter how beautiful something may look on the exterior, there can be something troubling within. <br />
<br />
The missing Xenia mother called her family from Miami Beach, Florida. She is with the guy that was the " person of interest." As more information was leaked to the press, it was increasingly apparent that these two people were involved in an affair. There were reports of the couple having been observed together at a convenience store several times in the month prior to her disappearance. People exclaimed, " a mother wouldn't leave her 1 year old baby." Anyone who has spent any time on social networking sites knows that it happens more frequently than people might imagine. I personally know 3 people who left their spouse and children to be with their online loves. And FYI, in most instances the spouse is the last one to suspect anything. <br />
<br />
The woman was described as a caring wife and mother, raised in a religious family and deeply involved in the church. Her employer described her as a good worker, one liked by clients, many of whom were calling with their concern. "Why do bad things happen to good people" he was quoted as asking a local reporter who was covering the story. <br />
<br />
Is this a case of a woman who had a religious upbringing breaking free of it's confines? Is this the classic "good girl falling for the bad boy" story? I don't know, but it is sad that so much of law enforcement and volunteers time and resources was given to this story. Such is the world we live in, one ruled by reality TV and the need for society to stick our noses in places that they do not belong. <br />
<br />
The story went national earlier this week with segments on the morning shows of major television networks devoted to it. The Xenia police department is holding a press conference this morning. I hope that they tell us that the FBI was not really involved, that they were just trying to leverage the woman into notifying the authorities or her family. There are people and children that rightfully need our help. This was a personal matter and not deserving of the mass attention that it generated. Peace to all...John : )<br />
<br />
<br />
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-92075321140374383802010-03-17T15:09:00.000-07:002010-03-17T15:09:54.353-07:00A Sound of Music MomentSung to the tune of "My Favorite Things"....with apologies to Julie Andrews..<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Wheelchairs and meds that help me achieve wood<br />
<br />
pills folks profess will make my sex life good<br />
<br />
vacation offers and a Sears sale<br />
<br />
these are the things I get in my email<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
acts that will soon take the stage at the Fraze<br />
<br />
bring back memories of old bygone days<br />
<br />
concerts outside hope the weather's not hot<br />
<br />
I'll sit close enough to see liver spots<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
notes from the cam girls trying to entice me<br />
<br />
females on Yahoo get naked for free<br />
<br />
mailbox is flooded with some porn invites<br />
<br />
I feel no need to revisit those sites<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
when I log on<br />
<br />
to my email<br />
<br />
before I've read half<br />
<br />
I find myself rolling at things found within<br />
<br />
and then I begin, to laugh...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-8569413170062048352010-02-26T17:56:00.001-08:002010-02-26T17:56:36.631-08:00So You've Joined a Dating SiteYou're in your 40s or 50s, your wife ran off to the Bahamas with that co-worker she was always complaining about, and after 3 months of anger and 3 more months spent hoping she would come back, you've finally come to grips with the fact that you are suddenly single. Your occupation doesn't lend itself to meeting dating prospects and your approach in the produce aisle at Kroger has everyone bowing their heads and saying " lettuce pray."< garden variety pun>.You're tired of looking nightly at internet porn with your tongue hanging down to your dupe. So you've joined a dating site. No, you're not a loser, you're not home on a Saturday night dialing the " Desperate and Dateless" hotline at your local radio station. But there are some guidelines one should adhere to. <br />
<br />
1) Your picture <br />
Under age 40, women tend to be more into a man's looks, after age 40, they really don't care whether or not you have a 6 pac, they only hope you didn't down one on your way to the first date. No scowling like Dick Cheney or smiling like Chris Farley in Tommy Boy. Any picture that is not currently being displayed on a "Sex Offender" site should suffice... <br />
<br />
2) Picking Your Name <br />
This is important, right away you are provided the opportunity to display some creativity. Wait!!!!! By this, I do NOT mean a name such as " NineInchMale4U" ( unless you're joining "Adult Friend Finder" as there are many names such as that there....er...so I hear). Stay away from names such as "Plumber Joe." You'd sound like one of the cards in a deck of Old Maid. "Luvs2Camp" "BikeridingMale" and " A Running Man" are all good choices. Even if you haven't left your sofa since the Clinton administration, you appear to be an active guy. <br />
<br />
3) Your "hook." The introductory line sites require of you that acts as a title for your monologue that will follow. Avoid lines such as " ready to try again" " a new beginning" or " love the second time around." Hey, you're middle aged and on a friggin' dating site, no need to remind everyone you've failed before. I use my Parcelguy name with the hook line " retired UPSman but I still deliver." Clever, some innuendo, but fun. This is not to say that if you are a plumber, you should use a line such as " 45 yr old plumber still layin' the pipe." That may be a bit overboard. <br />
<br />
4) Your monologue. Be HONEST. The b s lines that work on Bambi and Tiffany will not fool Cathy, Linda, and Lisa. Do not start out with " I'm an intelligent male..." because 40 and 50 something women tend to be healthy skeptics, they see " intelligent male." as an oxymoron. No need to embellish yourself with any adjectives, a simple " I am male" is more than enough and you do not entrap yourself. By that I mean you are a male, right? Why set yourself up for failure under the harsh examination of a shrewd female??? <br />
<br />
5) Avoid listing bogus interests or hobbies. Do not say that you love opera when you think Carreras, Domingo, and Pavarotti are members of the Italian National soccer team... <br />
<br />
Ok...there you have it, you've had the guts to put yourself out there, that in and of itself takes some doing!!!!! Good luck to you!!!! Peace to all, and with my tongue mostly in cheek ; P Have a GREAT week all... JohnAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-73755547546568198082010-02-26T17:54:00.000-08:002010-02-26T17:54:17.928-08:00Are You Married or Seeing Anyone?Yesterday, July 1st, pension check electronicly deposited in my checking account and even if I do not sell a house this month, I've money to live another 31 days!!! As I'm strolling through the grocery blissfully enjoying my life and contemplating the biggest choice I'll have to make this month, whether to get the Edys Brand or Texas Gold ice cream, my decision is placed on the back burner as I hear someone say " John!!!." I look up to see a lady I worked with at UPS and her husband, marching along behind her. I greeted them with a handshake, we discussed retirement and the joys of not answering to anyone, the fact that Mondays and Tuesdays are no different than Saturdays and Sundays. Then he did it, said the words that always set the devious female mind into action. " It must be great, especially for you, doing your own grocery shopping, buying what you want." BINGO!!!!!! Here it comes. She asks me, " So John, are you married or seeing anyone?" <br />
<br />
< Big sigh> They just cannot STAND it!!!! They're like sharks in the water, they SENSE it!! A single guy, happy and smiling, gleefully lusting at the 17 different brands of ice cream and she wants to make me miserable!!!! Women just HATE seeing a happy, contented male! I panic, searching for the right answer as not to fall prey to the trap being set before me. It's not in my nature to lie, even if I try, I'm so bad at it a bubble appears beside my head with the word "LIAR." So as perspiration runs down my face I blurt out, " I'm not seeing anyone but there is the dream of someone." OH KERRRRRRRIST!!!!!! I sound like Meg Ryan in Sleepless in Seattle. What a wussified answer!!!! I feel myself floating aimlessly at sea on a rubber raft of desperation. Smelling fear and vulnerability, she moves in for the kill! As I resign myself to the fact that she'll now want 4 or 5 of my business cards to hand out to various other sharkettes, the Coast Guard, in the form of her husband, saves the day!!!!! " Hey, we got to go NOW, we are to be at the home of some friends shortly and are already late." He grabs her by the elbow and guides her past me as I shoot him a look of gratitude. He pats my shoulder and says " Nice seeing you, John, take care" as he firmly pushes her down the aisle and keeps me out of harm's way. <br />
<br />
Yes, I came within a hair of starting down the " loss of freedom road." Only the swift action of a sympathetic male saved me from enslavement and eventual wussification. It has happened on numerous occasions, yet I'm never prepared when women spring into action, attempt to fix me up with that friend, relative, or neighbor that would be " just perfect for me." And of course, I always get " John you're such a happy, nice guy, you need to share that happiness with someone." <grinning> Cause and effect, ladies, perhaps my happiness is rooted in my solitude??? Peace to all...JohnAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-70951842033244081832010-02-26T17:28:00.000-08:002010-02-26T17:28:22.461-08:00She's Gone Quiet AgainOver the years, I've met a few women who withdrew as a way of dealing with adversity. I wrote this for one such lady. Peace to all...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
She's gone quiet again<br />
it's how she deals with pain<br />
she withdraws deep inside herself<br />
won't even speak to friends<br />
the pattern just repeats itself<br />
she cannot break the chains<br />
tried hard yet cannot wash away<br />
her past and how it stains<br />
<br />
She has nothing to say<br />
can't even type her thoughts<br />
she struggles to express herself<br />
but gets tied up in knots<br />
she says no one can help her<br />
as she heads down this road<br />
it seems there is no rescue<br />
when she goes to silent mode<br />
<br />
She just can't convey<br />
the things she wants to say<br />
she is at a loss for words<br />
says words have lost their way<br />
I'd like to try and help her<br />
take her hand, lead her to light<br />
and I am right here for her<br />
if she wants to call or write<br />
<br />
She's gone quiet again<br />
like when she was a kid<br />
she promised that she wouldn't<br />
yet just as before she did<br />
But who am I to judge her?<br />
I don't walk in her shoes<br />
I hope that she will find the strength<br />
to speak and thus break looseAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-51459523542461296862010-02-26T17:25:00.001-08:002010-02-26T17:25:43.883-08:00Dating Advice For MenI've been thinking ( yes I am capable of thought ) that it might be time to rejoin the dating world. I'm quite certain that my buddies at UPS are NOT going to deliver the lady of my dreams to my door. It's been 3 years since my last meaningful relationship ended, and while I'm on the subject I'm happy to report that I am no longer a suspect <grin>. I realize that I'm not the only guy that may be embarking on this journey. So as a public service, I thought that I'd post some tips.....<br />
<br />
1) Feigning interest....your mind is really thinking about the Laker/Cavs game but you're out with a woman who is rattling on about every negative trait of her 5 ex husbands. By acting as if you care, you'll get through dinner and quite possibly to Camelot...Practice this look in the mirror, and later you may be using your lance a lot...<br />
<br />
2) She's showing cleavage and you're a chest man......the twins are in full display, they act much like huge magnets and your eyes are cheap metal. Make sure you do NOT get caught oogling the goods. Before you sit down, know her eye color in case she asks you for it....lacking that, at least know the number of eyes she has...<br />
<br />
3) Compliment her on her hair.....women really seem to like that...Sure her look may be stuck in the 90s ( and in some cases I mean 1890s ) but you're sure to score points with this approach<br />
<br />
4) Now I heard Andy tell Opie to " tell her she smells good." Be careful at this point. I did this once, the lady laughed and said the water had been turned off in her neighborhood due to a busted main line, she had taken a " whore bath" meaning a damp rag wiping herself off...What I was smelling was the stain she used on her deck 2 hours earlier.....<br />
<br />
5) Don't relate your past dating history....this is a HUGE no no. For example, you tell a female that you've had 20 dinner dates in the last year, she concludes you slept with 30 women!!!! It's fuzzy female math that I've yet to figure out, I guess they assume half of your dates brought along a friend. If asked, you've my permission to lie. Even though you have dated 20, it is best to say 2. At this point it is better to be seen as a loser than a guy that is in demand < big wink >.<br />
<br />
I hope you guys derive some benefit from my wise counsel, I also hope you realize it is mostly tongue in cheek. Good luck to all, may you all discover happiness ( or very strong wrists ). Peace to all...JohnAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-74911851166485109312010-02-26T00:05:00.000-08:002010-02-26T00:05:24.390-08:00'I'm Going to Meet a Friend"..Successfully Meeting OfflineI recently had an online friend travel to meet a gentleman with whom she had been chatting. It did not work out in this particular instance, but she was able to tie in a visit with an online couple with whom she had also been chatting. That meeting was a success! Which brings me to my message I'd like to share today. It and 75 cents will get you a Coke, but if it saves one person a little heartache, then it's all good. When meeting your online chat partner, approach it as if you are simply meeting a friend. You increase your odds of success. <br />
<br />
At this point, I feel it's necessary to make full disclosure. I myself have fallen head over feet with a chat partner. I've had to rein myself in a time or two. It is oh so easy to fall, to form that attachment. You're sitting safely within the 4 walls of your home, trading stories, sometimes the anonymity can lead to sharing intimate details with your "trusted" partner. The text chat eventually leads to talking via phone, which serves to further personalize the bond. You begin to make the object of your adoration the "perfect" partner, your soulmate. When one reaches this point, and I've seen it play out in a very public way in chatrooms and on social sites, one is sitting oneself up for failure. The expectations become so hard to reach in many cases, and your ability to reason slowly slips away. Try to keep it in the proper perspective. <br />
<br />
It takes guts to put oneself out there, to roll the dice and step outside the confines of the computer screen. I've turned many VIRTUAL friends into REAL TIME friends over the past 14 or 15 years, there was a lot of trial and error involved on my part. Here are a few tips that I think can be helpful...... <br />
<br />
1) meet in a public place,,,,when having the initial meeting,never meet your internet friend at his or her house. <br />
<br />
2) avoid meeting at a vacation spot or resort....is it the company of your friend that you are enjoying or are your senses being overwhelmed by all the whistles and bells?.. <br />
<br />
3) make him come to you....I'm constantly amazed by the number of women who are willing to jump off of a plane and into the car of a complete stranger!!! You're in unfamiliar surroundings and you've accepted a ride with a man whom you've never met before. Call me old fashioned but if a man has an interest, he can come to your town and get a hotel room. Ted Bundy was an officer in the Young Republicans club, the BTK killer was a Lutheran church Deacon. I don't mean to be so extreme, I'm just trying to make a point....safety first <br />
<br />
4) with safety in mind, you tell him you want to bring along a trusted friend....if he objects, "next" him...But John, his feelings will be hurt because I don't trust him...NEXT!...He thinks I'm being overly cautious...NEXT!... He says he won't meet me if I bring someone else along..NEXT!....Any reasonable man is aware that you need to ensure your safety.. <br />
<br />
5)trust your instincts....if you feel your partner has not been forthcoming or has practiced deception, you're probably correct. Trust the little voice inside your head. <br />
<br />
6) dress casually and try to have a relaxed approach. <br />
<br />
I've witnessed very public crash and burns on this site in the past 18 months, several times they've involved my friends. In the aftermath, I've had women write me. " John, why didn't you try to stop her? She is your friend, you knew that she was heading for a fall." The simple answer is that the women would not have listened to me. The online love endorphins are so strong that the men involved could have served them a pile of crap on a plate, told the ladies it was prime rib, and the gals would have asked for seconds. You cannot reason with drunks or those in love. <br />
<br />
When I first entered the online world, I'd see women in local chatrooms sit by and watch as men who had victimized them took advantage of a new lady. I thought they were uncaring, cold, catty, delighting in watching someone fall prey as they did. So I asked one of the gals, I found out that I was wrong. " She would not believe me, John, these guys are good at what they do. He'll tell her that I'm jealous because he rejected me and she will believe him." I hear you, sister. <br />
<br />
Many of us hate to see our online friends suffer heartache. But by failing we often learn. We cannot save our friends, but we can soften the blow, help them to rebound and move on. The added pressure of a romantic entanglement can lead to poor decision making when meeting people offline. In my opinion, it is best to use the "K I S S" method. Keep it simple, stupid. As soon as safeguards are met, meet sooner rather than later. Think " I'm going to meet a friend."...peace to all....JohnAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-3954551439000082172010-02-26T00:00:00.000-08:002010-02-26T00:00:34.010-08:00Todays Troubled YouthQuote attributed to Peter the Hermit 1274 A D <br />
<br />
"The world is passing through troublous times. The young people of <br />
today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for <br />
parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as <br />
if they knew everything, and what passes for wisdom with us is <br />
foolishness with them. As for the girls, they are forward, immodest <br />
and unladylike in speech, behavior and dress." <br />
<br />
"I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on <br />
frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond <br />
words... When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and <br />
respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise <br />
[disrespectful] and impatient of restraint" (Hesiod, 8th century BC). <br />
<br />
Funny isn't it? For centuries, elders have always been critical of the young, with Google it was easy to find several examples in support of my observation. I too have been guilty of it. Perhaps it is a rite of passage into AARPdom? No, now I'm blame shifting. I do it because it is what we ol...um...mature people do. <br />
<br />
I was reading blogs relating to internet behavior, most were written by people 35-60 years of age. The blogs were critical of young people and their behavior, especially as it relates to the internet. Some of these people, particularly in the few blogs and responses I've read, have pictures posted of themselves in various states of undress. Others have pages with pictures of themselves striking various " come hither" poses. We never see it in ourselves, do we? I had a 59 year old woman tell me that a man whom she had met on the net and dated, emailed her a picture of his " little soldier." Lends a whole new meaning to " site member." It's not something that is specific to a certain age group. <br />
<br />
At any rate, the world will survive. Elders have always thought the young disrespectful, conversely the young have thought the elders out of touch. I'm reminded of the song " We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel. Especially that part of the chorus that goes " we didn't start the fire, it was always burnin' since the world's been turnin' "...<br />
<br />
When I research a subject such as this, I find I always learn something. <br />
Until today, I thought Peter the Hermit was Peter Noone <grins> peace to all...JohnAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-21529533535895266922010-02-25T23:54:00.000-08:002010-02-25T23:54:07.383-08:00Come For the Boobs, Stay For the BrainsHey Lady Godiva <br />
<br />
"Lady Godiva, you say you wanna be loved <br />
For what's inside <br />
I don't know much about horses but you <br />
Sure picked a funny place to ride";........... Shel Silverstein, song recorded by Dr Hook <br />
__________________________________________________- _____________________________________ <br />
"What have I got <br />
That makes you want to love me? <br />
Now, is it my body or someone I might be <br />
Or somethin' inside me? <br />
<br />
You better tell me, tell me <br />
It's really up to you <br />
Have you got the time to find out <br />
Who I really am?"........Alice Cooper <br />
<br />
"Come for the boobs, stay for the brains" the heading read. I chuckled at her line. I must admit, as I read her profile and viewed her photos, her wit and assets were both on display in ample amounts. We males are such visual beings. But those of us fortunate enough to have lived to the point of acquiring lines in our faces and grey in our hair know, she is right. Looks fade or one grows tired of "pretty." Don't believe me? I give you exhibit A, Scott Baio. <br />
<br />
Many of us remember Baio from "Happy Days" as The Fonz's cousin, Chachi Arcola. Or as the lead in the syndicated series, "Charles In Charge." Recently he has starred on VH1's " Scott Baio is 45 and Single" followed by "Scott Baio is 46 and Pregnant." Back to my story. Years ago, Baio was a guest on The Howard Stern Show. No question is out of bounds when one is a guest on Stern's show. Stern asked Baio what he was worth, to which Baio replied around 17 million. Stern was amazed at the amount, Baio quickly informed Stern that Henry Winkler was responsible for his wealth. Winkler had advised Baio to take less money to act on Charles In Charge and instead negoiate for a percentage of syndication money. Syndication made Baio a wealthy man. <br />
<br />
Eventually, as it seemingly always does on Stern's show, the talk turned to sex. This was years ago, and Baio had just broken up with Pam Anderson. Stern smiled and acted as if he was astonished that Baio could let Pam get away. Baio tried to explain, in a very roundabout way, that he was not stimulated in other ways. Finally he told Howard a story. Baio had played at a golf tournament and was sitting in the clubhouse restaurant with a bunch of guys. The group included golfer Lee Trevino. In walks one of the most gorgeous women Baio has ever seen, the entire group of men stare. Finally Trevino says, "I know what you're thinking, guys. But remember, somewhere there is a guy that is tired of that." <br />
<br />
So yes, most smart men ( oxymoron ) stay for the mind, the humor, the personality. As a single male, I'm attracted to a pretty face as much as the next dog...er...man. But if an online lady types "there" for "they're and their" uses "your" when "you're" is required, and under favorite authors responds with " I don't read" ( obviously) most thinking men, IMHO, won't be interested in anything long term. <br />
<br />
Stay for the mind...bravo, she understands me! Now where was that bikini photo? <grins> peace to all...JohnAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2861177378081136163.post-75085908152078564422010-02-25T23:47:00.001-08:002010-02-25T23:47:34.674-08:00Any Malethat won't accept you at your very best is not worth having as a friend or a part of your life." I told my oldest daughter this when she was in the 8th grade. I'll tell you what brought about this piece of advice I delivered to her about 14 years ago. Being that I was a UPSman, delivery was my strength : ). <br />
<br />
Her mother and I had divorced the previous year. I was the non-custodial ( gee I hated that word ) parent. I came home one evening and the light on my answering machine was blinking. I had a message waiting for me from my ex. Sarah had brought home her interim report card and was getting C s and D s!! This was a young lady that had never gotten anything but A s. My ex asked me if I would talk to Sarah about it, and I agreed to have a conversation with her. <br />
<br />
I sat down with Sarah the next evening. I told her that it was typical for children of divorce to slip academicly but I wanted her to know that her mother and I both loved her. I asked her if anything was troubling her and was caught off guard by her reply. She told me that she liked this boy at school, but he told her that she was too smart for him, and he didn't like smart girls. She thought that if she let her grades slide that he might like her. I then told her that any male that did not encourage her or accept her at her very best was not a guy worth having as a friend. <br />
<br />
In the weeks that followed, Sarah's grades returned to normal. Years later she was working as a reporter at a small newspaper and I called her and asked her to lunch. As we sat there, we spoke of " life lessons" and how we never stop learning. She told me that night over ten years earlier was an epiphany and she had gone forward surrounding herself as best she could with people who were positive influences. <br />
<br />
My ex and I rarely agreed upon anything but the one area where we found common ground was stressing the importance of education to our two daughters. Education empowers one, it provides more choices, it is the key that opens more doors. <br />
<br />
Over the past 14 years, I've often found myself sitting acrossed the dinner table from women who had felt trapped in a marraige or a relationship. They'd relate how they'd allowed themselves to be totally dependent upon a male, how they had no education or job skills. Some had lived many years in quiet desperation, feeling helpless and hopeless. As I'd listen, my mind would drift to my young daughters and how I hoped they'd never experience the life these ladies had lived. <br />
<br />
Sarah is married to a supportive man, when the time comes I hope Mollie picks wisely as well. We've often talked about the importance of surrounding ourselves with positive influences.The reality is that over 50% of marraiges fail. Their degrees should provide them with a safety net.::crosses fingers:: Peace to all...JohnAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579332364826562148noreply@blogger.com0